In Love With A Narcissist?

In Love With A Narcissist?

First of all- you poor, poor soul. Know that you are not alone.

It is a difficult time to be a dreamer. But you deserve heaps of admiration and respect for keeping on.

Here’s what you can do to stay sane through this tumultuous time.

  1. Let go of the past, even if they don’t

People with narcissistic personalities are good at making promises. They promise to do what you want and not to do that thing you hate. They promise to generally do better.

And they might even be sincere about these promises. But make no mistake about it: The promise is a means to an end for someone with a narcissistic personality.

Once they get what they want, the motivation is gone. You can’t count on their actions matching their words.

This is crazy-making and is deeply unfair. They won’t change. They will use word salad and weave a narrative of your own trips and flaws to be used against you.

Are you still up for the task? If so, read on.

2. Fully accept that you are not in control

The heart wants what it wants.

Clear out your mind and ego (yes, even the ones that are there to protect you.) because understand that it is all about them and how they feel.

Weaponize empathy and move with grace. Only then will you be able to let the light in.

At the risk of giving bad advice over the internet, I would just like to remind you dear reader, that Jesus loved us so much that he endured cruxifiction for us and we still act like…. yeah.

MOVING ON.

3. Use only a singular brain cell

In order to win this war, you have to silence all conflicting thoughts.

Like a child- you have to be pure in your heart and apply yourself fully and totally.

Let the insults and threats and mocking roll off you like water off a duck’s back.

Nothing can stand between you and your love.

You know in your heart that this is worth it. Do not let anyone stand in your way (especially your own doubts)

4. Don’t Complain

Your support group will want what’s best for you. They will get worried if you tell them what you are going through because make no mistake- it is abuse, and you are certified crazy in love.

Let them know when you are in immediate need of help of course.

But just know that you are the sheep who fell in love with the wolf.

Most people get anxious about that.

So exercise discretion and privacy, for your own benefit. Let only the most trusted and non-judgemental of people in.

Find other outlets of expression when things get too heavy.

5. Have Faith in Love

Hope is the one light that kept Epimetheus in love with the evil tool of seduction that is Pandora.

All horrible things on Earth and Heaven – disease, poverty, hatred, anger, jealousy, meanness- were stored in the same dusty Pandora’s box/jar as hope!

So since you are lovestruck and have decided to walk through the flames, have faith that love is enough.

Love is enough. Love is enough. Love is enough.

Such is the mantra of hope.

Now, fly high my little one. Straight into the arms of your sun. No judgement.

.

.

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Not sure your darling is a pathological a-hole? Here are the signs:

  • blaming you for everything that goes wrong
  • monitoring your movements or attempting to isolate you
  • telling you how you really feel or should feel
  • routinely projecting their shortcomings onto you
  • denying things that are obvious to you or attempting to gaslight you
  • trivializing your opinions and needs

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